Stop it girl. You are totally scaring the shit out of yourself. hha

on another note, i feel like a stalker now. k, stop that too.

on yet another note, i m having mixed feelings about *we all know who*. a part of me do wants to get to know him. but the other part of me do not want to for i want him to remain the idol. status quo.

on an even enother note, despite have loadsa ups and downs recently. n quite a few dramas here and there, i feel pretty blissful. thanks to the wonderful friends n yet to new friends that i've found recently. yes, it ain't easy getting into my friends list and i m super picky but surprisingly, there are still good and nice and sincere ppl around.

god graciousness.

jiayou friends. to anyone reading this, remember that he is always testing u because he knows u can take it and he wants to make u stronger. so, in everything u do, when the going gets tough and tougher, know that it is because we are strong. persevere on and follow through wad u are doing to the very end. all ze best yo!

i have no idea wad i m doing here. but i suddenly realised i have a blog! or wadever u call this place for rantings.. haha

so i decided to check out my friends page and guess wad?!?! there was only 1 post! yanti's!

ok, all my friends, have u all happily deleted me off your friend's list? i suppose, yes, we haven't met up in a super long time but still, i m still the same old azleen! haha

nonetheless, the radio is playing all the old school songs! like JC days and secondary school days! like now, family potrait.. oh, man, i remembered how i actually cried to the song when i heard the full lyrics back then.

and more than words. seven days. bonnie & cylde --> s1e's musicfest song :):):)

anyways, like i said earlier, i dunno wad i m doing here but i m. and i wanna say i feel surprsingly happy. don't exactly know why in particular. could it be that i saw him yesterday? ahahah.. not that i like how he looks. i only like how he sings. and i didnt hear him sing yesterday.. hmmmm..

k maybe i was just happy for something else that i really dunno about. i honestly dont think it is really him la ah.. hahahaha.. ok set. i m just happy. for no reason. i suppose god is fair. he made me undergo pressure, stressful moments, a teeny weeny bit of depression and then he showered me with happiness. blank happiness. happiness from dunno wad.. ahahahaha..
i shall absorb this happiness into the weeeee hours of the morning

lastly, no matter how great god is, i m still stuck in the middle. HELP! haha.. oh wells, i shall worry about that laterzzzz..

for now, i shall indulge in my unknown happiness. have a wonderful morning and weekend :) :)

wow. i think it is amazing that i m posting so much so frequently suddenly. k not the magnitude but 2 posts in a week! that is quite a wow, no? heeee

anyways, i would like to say how irritated i m when you go to someone's house, then you have to remove your shoes right (duh!) and more people come and then, when you leave, you see your shoes toppled upside down or at some other place you didn't originally leave it at. like seriously! right? is it even possible? cant you just find one spot for your shoes and dont disturb other people's shoes? make sense right?

so i tested it at my grams today. Instead of putting it at one place, i purposely put it like near someone else's shoes. Just to experiment. and, nothing happened to my shoes! so it's really the people la. if you really sincerely care about others, you will treat shoes that are not yours properly too. oh wells.

sometimes i wonder why i torture myself around ppl like these.. hahah

on to another event just now, my friends and I went to eat at some italian restaurant. in front of us there's a family of 4. and the son of the family is pretty cute. in fact, in my own opinion, he is super duperly cute! so anyways, all the girls in my clique agreed that he is cute. then they were commenting on the girl that he was with. i think most of them think that it was his gf. though i personally think it is his sister. but oh wells, we will never know. so anyways, one of us commented. but the girl doesn't look as pretty as he is cute. which i kinda agree. and then one of them went. the girl is not pretty. and i really cant imagine how someone can give out such comments. i mean seriously, i wanted to say out loud, look at yourself in the mirror first. as in, i dont think it is a fair comment. its like you are trying to bring someone else down and discredit them when obviously she is waayyyy prettier than you. come on, a typical singaporean vs an ang moh. you judge for yourself. i dont really care about how pretty someone is cuz its just those kinda random remarks you make. just those fill-in-the-gaps kinda conversations. just that it is really not nice to say other ppl are ugly. out loud. it not only shows how ugly in appearance the commentor is. it also makes the commentor an ugly person character-wise. i shan't use names so that no one will have a bad first impression of this person but i just pray that none of my good friends are like that. i suppose thankfully i haven't met any of my good friends like that, so all of you, please keep it this way and remember not to let me catch you all being ugly in character :) cheers!

that's it for today's ranting.. about shoes and inconsiderate ppl and ugly characters

suria channel has been showing a lot of things related to turkey and it is frustrating cuz the tv's always on to suria channel and even when i do not want to watch, my mommy would say how its turkey and then i would feel obligated to sit down and watch too.. and seeing the places, subconsciously reliving everything! it could be really fun but when you miss the place so much, it's kinda heartaching.

and the fact that i havent gone back for 2 years now, my friends are slowly not really bothered too much about me. you can feel the bond slowly loosening. and it's just sad. cuz we know we don't mean it but it is utterly difficult to keep up.

it's the same as when my good friend left singapore. now, we dont even know much about one another. she has her own set of friends who knows a lot more about her life than i do.. and it's all inevitable, the moment we leave. it is fine for a year or max a couple of years and then, it just gets extremely straining. how i wish i was never close to ppl who has to be far away from me.

i was happy for a while that i actually forgot your birthday. i really thought i was over you. i actually forgot about you for a whole month. but it all came back. i really dunno why.

i really wanna go over to turkey for you. stupid as it may sound. i m being all emo all over again! haha.. stupid azleen. got so many guys here, dunno why i must think of the one so far away.

i miss turkey. i miss him. although i never knew him when i was in turkey, never had memories of us in turkey, but the fact that you are there, makes me yearn to go back even stronger.

sighs so lame azleen, stop it. just be happy for the moments that you were with him. that made you extremely happy. happy thoughts for happy people. done deal. wheeeeee...

wheee wooooo.. wahahaha.. a sign of going crazy?

gosh i cant believe my lj is still working

i cant believe how late i've been working till these days

i cant believe i've 3 more freaking months before my secondment in ausit ends and hurray back to tax!

i cant believe i m actually getting loads of satisfaction from work

i cant believe i no longer have a life

i cant believe that i cant believe so many things..

hahahah.. its a weekend ppl

and i cross my fingers but i really dont wish to have to say one day that "i can't believe i have to work on a freaking weekend!"

cheers all! life's as boring as ever!!!

Woohoo.. I m at work, again, with no work to do. I’m getting extremely restless printing stuffs.. this is absolutely worse than internship time. I am really considering applying for other jobs.. hmmmmm.. I wonder if I can handle trading jobs.. wad say somebody? Like commodities trading. K, I think that is a bad idea. Haha.

Anyways, special thanks to qing, trypx and esther for spending time to celebrate my birthday! The only thing I wish for every year is that I have you guys as friends forever and that the close-ness will never change, even after all of you get married and have kids, etc etc.. :)

Azleen wants a job that can travel! Wad kinda line would that be ah? Should I even relocate? Haiz…..

today is such a horrible day. it is days like today that i really wished i did have a bf. cuz it is emo days like these that you really just feel like calling somebody. but of course, that is not possible. there is nobody to whine to.

back in tk days, everyday, i would call stel and just talk. about everything under the stars. n of course, especially about things that happened at sailing trainings. n about things like justin, nike, just do it! oh my, those were the days. when there was never a worry that no one would be there. but times have changed and yes, although i m strong and i will survive, it is just nice to have the assurance that there is somebody i could call when i just feel like complaining. withour feeling like i m burdening the other. sobs

but today is almost over. everything about today was bad but there's only slightly over an hour left to today. tomorrow will be better and i hope things do get better. although i think today have destroyed half my life. sighs.

faith az. things will be better. insya allah.

oh my! he actually replied like almost immediately!

i was surprised yest. But when i checked today, I am doubly surprised to see another reply!

oh wells, feeling a tinge of excitment. i pray god help me fulfil my dream but then again, eventhough i say that i think i believe more in i will try my best to work for it to happen!

taking a risk, doing something super un-rational. then again, ash keeps on reminding me, "stop it az. you r being too rational. stop thinking like an accountant. u r torturing urself. this is so not you."

so, the irrational me is trying to surface from being drowned these many years in smu.. ha.. we shall see wad happens. really wanna do it on impulse but yet with certain certainty. i hope u give me the go ahead. if u present the same amt of enthusiasm, no matter wad the price, i will go! i will make it happen. whether something works out, that is beyond my plan. but at least, i will go.

seriously, the only ppl updating journals these days are rina and yanti. haha.. wad happened to everybody else?

stella's been gone for good. i never found out why...

aliya, li and qing also dont update one.. haha... i wonder how long more i will continue updating. maybe i should stop too? ha

oh wells, i'm finally back from down under (aka australia). n it was fabulous! thanks to all the friends we met who took the trouble to bring us around every place we went! thanks to aziz in brisbane, stel in melb and ky in sydney, esp since all of them were in the middle of exams! really love the aussie life, they will still take time out even with the exams looming above them. will the majority of us do that? prolly not. so, to all the aussie ppl that helped one way or another including rina for all the suggestions, THANKS A GAZILLION :) it couldnt have been better.

i m quaratining (self-imposed) myself just to be a socially responsible citizen. haha. k updates later. not in the mood now. haha. still in the disbelief state of being back in singapore.

n i actually miss emre. hmmmmmm. how random.

HoHoHo!! Tomorrow's my final of the most final-est (okie, i know the word dont exist but u know, for emphasis sake) exam. of my life! haha.. k, that's a fallacy cuz i m sure there will be plenty more to come esp if i intend to do CPA or something of that level. ha. but if i dont, it may probably be my last exam!

haha.. k k, i've gone crazy. i never knew the last could feel so crazy! :p in less than 24 hours, i would be done with school! in the education sense that is.

i've got 2 hours to finish studying cuz i've got training in 2 hours till nite time. n what m i doing online? ha.. just to give a shout out to everyone that...
Life is woooonderful! haha

Tom it will be over, then IVP from fri to sun. Then it will be aussie from mon onwards!!! wooohoooooooooooo!

Love all!

Smile always ya all.